Got a question? Learn how to get quality answers
As we proceed with our daily lives, we need information to help us have a successful day, no matter if at work, out shopping or at home. It is difficult to make a good decision without sufficient information, and one way to get critical data is to ask quality questions. The following three tips may enhance the quantity and quality of information received: avoid asking “why” questions, use open-ended questions, and incorporate “soft” commands.
- Tip 1: Questions that begin with “why” often generate a psychological defensive response. The person will essentially construct a less complete answer, and not provide all the details and information you need to make a decision. For example, “Why did you stop the program?” Instead of providing the most useful information, you are only provided the details that justify what the person did. It is best to try and frame questions in advance to avoid the “why” question trap.
- Tip 2: Asking “open-ended” questions are preferred, and those questions begin with “who”, “what”, “when” “where”, and “how”. For example, “What factors influenced your decision to close the program?” A solid, open-ended question tends to draw out more information and provide extra details. There is one significant factor to keep in mind, when asking an “open-ended” question, and that is to avoid accidentally turning it into a “closed-ended” question, which will reduce the amount of information the person provides. “Closed-ended” questions incorporate words like “is/are” or “did/do”. For example, “Where did he go?” produces less information than “What were all the places he visited?” Again, preparing questions in advance avoids “close-ended” words from slipping in and reducing the response information.
- Tip 3: One of the best ways to get information is to give a “soft” command. These requests are given in a calm tone of voice, often with a smile or preceded with the word, “please”. For example, “Please provide me with all the details involved with your decision.” Another very effective way to get the maximum amount of information is to ask for help. An example is, “Help me understand how you arrived at your decision.” At the subconscious level, when a person hears someone asking for “help”, they think, “Poor thing, of course I will help”. These “soft” commands actually do provide much more information, and enable everyone to communicate much more effectively.
These tips will not only help get information from businesses, or in the workplace, but will also get more information from family members and friends. There is an additional benefit—enhanced communication, which in turn reduces misunderstandings, avoids people from taking entrenched positions, and helps prevent arguments.
Let’s keep Beavertonians communicating effectively!
Nancy Neal Yeend is a local grandmother, a retired Realtor, and mediator/dispute management strategist. She enjoys going to parks, identifying birds and visiting memory care facilities with her Therapy Dog, Wolfie.
