Transitioning to new housing when each spouse has different needs

Transitioning to new housing when each spouse has different needs



I watch as people consider where to move as their bodies transition from having more energy to less, more capability to less, or a spouse or partner needing more care than a partner can give. Deciding to make a change is not easy and it can take a life event for change to happen.

One such couple had the emergency of the husband falling, dementia onsetting and the spouse no longer able to address his needs. The husband was placed in assisted living and the wife moved into an independent living cottage. To see her husband, she crosses the street. Being a very accomplished artist, the wife thrived in this hobby during the Covid isolation. When it came time to move, it was very important to make sure which art made it to the new home. Fast forward two months and no concerns about the move. She hasn’t painted once! She has thrived in her new garden, met amazing neighbors, joined a support group, and is thrilled with her new living arrangements.

Another challenge is whether to move closer to children. Being 80-100 and making the change from what they have known for so long to a new area or state, and having to make making new friends can be scary.

One couple has decided to move to Palm Desert to be closer to a son after realizing the wife cannot care for the husband who is 95. They have chosen an independent community and will have in-home care. Although nervous, we discussed the fear of meeting new people, learning a new location and missing the tribe here. Listening is so important when someone is sharing their fears. We don’t need to fix the situation but encouraging, reassuring, and providing support is essential. She believes it is for the better as they are in a nice apartment complex currently, but she is not getting the social engagement she would like. To be by her son will be invaluable.


Generations in a home is a treasure, downsizing is a gift! Please feel free to contact Mature Moves Made Easy or the Mature Moves Real Estate Team at 971-227-1302 or email